So I just can't seem to make it all work together

I have failed again at this blogging continuously thing.

Happy New Year!! Glad to see you!!

So far so good. I think 2009 is going to be a winner for us. I can feel it. We have set a goal of paying off most, if not all, of our debt and hopefully we will conquer and kick some ass in this department.

The working out cause I am 30 thing has not worked out as well as I had hoped and I have been sitting in my closet quietly praying to my jeans to not split in the ass while I am out in public. I am sure that somehow the chocolate covered pretzels, cookies, and cheese ball I had for lunch are not helping me out, but what eva -- moving on.

The kids enjoyed their holiday vacay way more than I did. I could not bang my head into the wall hard enough to knock myself out, so I had to sit and listen to the bickering and arguing over every little thing they could find. When does this stop??

The Lush family got a Wii for xmas and I am in love with bowling. We have been over there bowling constantly and I am pretty good. Soon I will start passing on the sexy type bets and start betting things like hubby has to clean the dog poop by himself -- you know, something fun.

The 25th is our anniversary. As I have said before, we had a modest shotgun wedding and January is definitely the best time to have one of those. Todd has made big plans for us to go away for a weekend to Central City and stay a night. Too much fun for me to handle I tell ya. We have not had an alone weekend with no kids for the entire time we have been married. I have a hard time leaving the kids behind, so hopefully I will have enough alcohol in my system to forget about them for a night. I am so hoping that I will win big bucks too. Maybe then I can afford the secret condo far away that I am planning to buy for when I need my "alone" time.

Hope all is well with you. Peas out.

How cold could it possibly be?

We were supposed to get cut down our fresh tree yesterday morning, but of course we woke up to a ton of snow on the ground and a temperature of 10, so needless to say, we will be using our fake tree again this year. It needs to be put up soon. Hopefully we can get it done tonight.

So instead of tree hunting yesterday we rescued the in-laws whose truck broke down on the side of the road. What a day for that to happen. Then hung out and I played my new video game. I am addicted to the Crash Bandicoot games. The new one came out a while ago and I absolutely have to beat it. So far I have beaten every one of them. Yes, I am the master... It was a pretty fun day.

This morning on the other hand has been a major pain. I got in the shower to find that there was no cold water -- that is right, no cold water. Typically it is hot water that is hard to find around here. Apparently, being that last night got to -20 and felt like -40 with the wind chill factor, our cold water pipe that runs the master shower and bath tub decided to freeze up. This, of course, means that the husband had to pull off tiles from the tub to try to figure out where the pipe is and try to rig something up so that this does not happen again. Wonderful fun stuff -- lemme tell ya.

So now that the pipe is unfrozen we have to make a trip to Home Depot, which will no doubt cost us a butt load, just cause we can never go there without buying every thing!!

I sat down to get to some work done and could hear Spencer in his room putting all of his toys in the closet, which is his new thing. Apparenlty the toy box he has is not good enough. I went in his room on my hands and knees to check on him and as he came out of the closet -- tee hee -- I jumped out and scared him and he punched me right in the mouth. I guess being the youngest of four boys you have to know how to ward off the scary. Little punk.

Now where did I put that?

I cannot seem to find my Christmas spirit this year. Oh yeah, hi! Been a minute or two...no excuses, just jumping right in here.

This year is tight, as I figure it is for a lot of people, at least that is what the news tells me and I believe them, cause they know all. But...I am having a hard time not feeling guilty. I feel guilty cause I can't get the kids EVERYTHING they could ever want, guilty that we are not spending a dime on our extended family members, guilty that others may buy for us and all we have is a smile and a thank you to give back. I know that this is not what this time of year is all about, but I can't seem to help it.

We decided a few years ago to give to charity rather buying a million cheap little gifts for our extended family, and that has gone over pretty well. This year we donated to the Humane Society, last year was Make a Wish, and the year before that was St. Jude's. It is nice to help people or animals that are less fortunate.

So back to my guilt. Last night as I was wrapping the presents we have gotten for the kids (yes I am done shopping for them), I realized that we will be going to Christmas dinner with family empty handed (again). I hate feeling like this. I hate having to explain that our budget is tight and I really enjoy being warm and eating, so instead of buying gifts I decided to pay the gas bill and buy groceries. Don't get me wrong, our family is very understanding and every one says it is not a big deal and who cares, but as you sit on the couch opening the gift that they have bought for you, that little twinge in your tummy starts and oh--I think I am going to cancel Christmas this year. Is that possible?

We have not even put up or Christmas tree. Part of this was becuase Spencer's b-day was on the 7th and I was waiting for that to be over, but now I just don't feel like it. I am telling you, I think I am going to change the way Christmas is at our house. I think I need a dose of reality -- and so do my kids. Who knows.

Are diapers really so bad...

What is it with shit and my house. Seriously.

So I was sitting here being all good and working when Todd came running in to tell me that child who is not quite two just pooed in the toilet. Whoo-hoo is what you are thinking, right? Well not to me. I am not ready for him to be toilet trained. To me a child who is toilet trained before 2 and refusing to wear diapers is just the kid who puts a big damper on my "quick" trip to the store. That child will be the one who, as we are walking in to grab two "quick" things and get out fast, is crying as we walk in cause he has go number 1, then number 2, then after spending 15 minutes of my "quick" time in the nasty uncleaned public restroom while smelling some else's breakfast being released, this same child will then potty in his pants. So my quick trip to said store just turned into me spending forever waiting for the child to poop properly, wiping, washing, smelling, gagging and then running to the car as fast I can without putting the child too close to me for fear of being covered in urine, without the items I needed.

I prefer for my kids to wait a little longer and stay in diapers until I can at least get 10 minutes between potty breaks or at least be able to say "hold it for two more seconds honey, mommy is almost done."

I know I am selfish. Live with it. This is number four. I have done my fair share of potty training, urine soaked clothes, cleaning public toilets before allowing child to sit, etc. I can be selfish at some point.

UPDATE *** No lie. Not more than 4 minutes after Spencer pooed on the toilet and Todd was all happy, happy, joy, joy...I hear "HELP" from the bathroom...Spencer pooped in the bath tub. That child reads my mind every time. I love him.

Oh my goodness...

Where has all the time gone. I just noticed that it has been almost a month since my last post and I am sure I left you will a sour taste in your mouth. I am not an angry mommy, but it sure sounds like it, right?

I feel like this past month has rolled over me and backed up and rolled over me again. Football finally ended, which is where most of my time was going between dropping off and picking up and watching, cheering, and all the likes, but then basketball just started. Here we go again.

I really can't say that my time away was productive or fun. I was just...just. Mrs. Lush and I hosted a Slumber Party, which if you don't know, it is a sexy type of party for the women folk. It was a total hoot. If you do or you don't, I am sure you know -- this shit is crazy...Some of these items are insane and completely intimidating, but sitting around with 20 of your friends laughing about it all is just fun. If ever you do, I suggest one of these parties.

Spencer is a total pill and I have met my match with him. I swear if I would have had him first I would have stopped. He is not even 2 yet and just in the past few days he managed to feed the fish an oreo and a marker, climed 3 shelves in my mud room to get the hydrogen peroxide, drank it, and spilled it all over my kitchen floor, he pooped in the bathtub, peed on the carpet, kicked the dog, bit Kyle, tried to climb out of a shopping cart, spit on the cashier, took off his diaper while covered in diaper rash cream and powder and sat on my pillows, dumped a bottle of baby powder on his head, knocked over his dresser again, figured out how to climb into his crib, tore up his books, erased two TiVo programs that I was dying to watch...my list could go on, but then I would have a nervous breakdown remembering them all.

So now you know I am back and will be back again very soon. I am off to get trouble up from his nap...

Is it just me??

Okay, so I try to not diss on the other bloggies too much, but sometimes I will read something that just sends me into a total spin...and now my panties are in a total wad...

What is up with people not vaccinating their kids and why the fuck do you get to send your kid to my kids' schools? Okay, so I get that you do "research" which I assume consists of a bunch of internet articles that talk about how bad they are for you, but what good things have you ever heard about measles, mumps, small pox, polio??? Anything?

I am calm now and you can be mad, it is cool...but explain it to me. Help me understand what you have found that is so bad about these vaccines that they spend millions of dollars creating and improving yearly (daily even) that makes you willing to allow your child to go out into this world and possibly contract these vicious diseases, not to mention the fact that they would be exposing all of the other kids in their school, sports, church, etc.

Did you do the research on the diseases that they would be protected from?? Diphtheria can cause a deterioration of the myelin sheath in the central and peripheral nervous system, leaving your child with loss of motor control and sensation. Um, sound a little like the autism you possibly are trying to protect said child from. How about Haemophilus influenza? This one causes severe respiratory illness and meningitis and is estimated to have caused 2 to 3 million cases in children under the age of 5.

Sounds to me like you should just leave a message for old grim reaper himself, maybe have him over for dinner. Sorry, if he does show, it will be too damn late for your dumbass to get vaccines. oops. (no longer calm now).

I even read a comment on another blog about this.. and I quote...

"We don't vax either. It's amazing how easy it is to get exempt, but the school's make it seem like it is SO hard!" They make is seem SO hard, honey, cause they don't want your snotty nosed kid all up in the system with fucking diseases that will spread.

I can just see the conversation now with your poor child:

You: Sorry honey, you can't play sports cause you have tetanus and can't even walk and have constant, painful contractions of your muscles.

Child: Oh, thanks bitch.

You: Sorry, honey, you can't go outside with the other kids cause you can't even swallow your food or hold in your own spit cause of the tetanus.

Child: Oh, thanks bitch.

You: Sorry, honey. I made a terrible decision on your behalf when you were too young to make your own decisions and now you are all fucked up and can't lead a normal life.

Child: Oh, thanks bitch.

I cannot believe how pissed I am.

The school system seriously needs to pull these kids aside and teach them in another part of the building, like that part that has asbestos. I am sure that one of you crazies that choose not to vaccinate read somewhere that asbestos is good for the soul.

Whatever. Please feel free to educate me...really.

Holy shit, look at this horse...

This is obviously not a horse, but it could be for spanky. This is the local liquor store owner's dog, Rufus (of all things to call a dog). Love it!